I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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