just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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