I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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