p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can I color on your dick again?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
