yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
