at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
