kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
