My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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