Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
