I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
kristin has been a bad kristin
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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