Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool

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(925): View more from California

Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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(443): View more from Maryland

He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.

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(631): View more from New York

Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?

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(276): View more from Virginia

I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....

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(919): View more from North Carolina

His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Cmon. I wasn't that bad.

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."

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