He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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