Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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