Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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