Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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