ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
