...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*