You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow