so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night