Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
