Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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