My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
