booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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