the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
