wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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