You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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