I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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