Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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