I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
