she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
