I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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