im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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