if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He has the fingertips of a God
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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