You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize