You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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