i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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