I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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