i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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