tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
