wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
