i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize