McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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