I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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