I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
