Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wear drunk well.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize