ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
