with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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