go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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