I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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