she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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