Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
