the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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