so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
