going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
