Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
