Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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