if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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