My liver just broke up with me...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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