I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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