would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
