My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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