Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
