Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
