We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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