i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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