so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
