Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
