she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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